The Spawn of Ferns and Dust
by If Love Were Flowers
Summary: Birchfall is having a little trouble with his brothers... Well, his older brother, who suddenly turned dotting on him. Well, it sucks for him.


**Something randoms I typed up in my free time, I'm still considering whether or not to continue this. Well, Spiderleg is the dotting brother, Birchfall is the normal brother, and Foxpaw is the blunt brother. Oh, and Ferncloud is the dense mother. Enjoy!**

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"Birchfall! Noooooooggggiiiieee!" a black-and-brown tom, Spiderleg, pinned a younger, light brown tabby tom, to the ground, rubbing the pad of his paw fiercely over his head and ruffling his fur. The tabby let out a squeak, squirming to get away, and when he finally did, crouched defensively in the corner of the warriors' den, with the fur on his head looking ridiculously frizzy.

"Do you always have to do that, when you see me, Spiderleg?" groaned Birchfall, licking his paw and quickly drawing it over his head, smoothing down the ruffled fur. His brother grinned, bounding over and shoving his face up against Birchfalls'.

"Oh course, little brother," he laughed, "Because you're my little brother! And I," Spiderleg pulled back to pose heroically (and slightly comically), in the center of the warriors den, a spotlight appeared out of somewhere and shone down on him, "And your older brother! And, today, my dear brother, I will make a pledge!" Birchfall groaned inside, this was last Saturday all over again…

Meanwhile, Spiderleg was clearing his throat, pulling out a pair of reading glasses from his nest, as well as a long, pre-prepared speech. He raised a paw, clicking his claws, and the lights around him got dimmer, while the spotlight grew brighter, illuminating his dark body.

"I, Spiderleg of ThunderClan, son of Dustpelt of ThunderClan and Ferncloud of ThunderClan, brother of Shrewpaw, who died tragically from a horribly horrid attack from a viciously vicious monstrous monster back in the forest of the cats before it was devastatingly destroyed by extremely destroying monsters. I, Spiderleg, the eldest brother of three, my darling, young youngest sister Icepaw, whose pelt shines with the brilliance of ice and has eyes as green as our mother, Ferncloud of ThunderClan, however, she tragically died last leaf-bare due to a horrid horrible horribly case of dangerously dangerous blackcough. There is Foxpaw, my brave youngest brother, whose eyes glimmer with the color of dew-dappled leafs and whose pelt shines as sleek and as vibrant as a vixens' pelt. And there is my young brother, my favorite sibling, and the sibling who I desire to spend the entire day, a day where we will not part, whether it is border patrols or hunting patrols, deputies or leaders, sickness or health! My dear brother, we shall not be parted today!"

And with that Spiderleg hurled himself upon his brother, glomping him. Birchfall swore for a full seven seconds that he was being smothered to death.

At that moment, Whitewing poked her head into the warriors den, green eyes flashing to Spiderleg, "Spiderleg? Want to go on a hunting patrol with me?" Spiderleg perked up, eyes bright, and jumped away from his brother.

"See you later, Birchfall!" he laughed, heading towards Whitewing, "I'm off to hunt for your dinner with the beautiful and elegant daughter of Cloudtail and Brightheart!" he laughed again, suddenly curling around Whitewing and pressing his face close to hers, "Whitewing, my beautiful friend, your eyes are as green as rain-soaked grass. Whitewing, my friend, whose fur shines with the brilliance of moonlit frost and snow during winter. Whitewing my future mate!" Whitewing rolled her eyes and shoved a paw in Spiderlegs' face.

"Say good-bye to your brother," she half-growled, stalking out of the den. Spiderleg turned to his brother, as cheery as ever.

"Good-bye, my darling brother!"

"You're leaving after your speech? Thank StarClan."

Spiderleg paused at the entrance of the warriors' den, glanced back at Birchfall, then turned around and pushed him out of the warriors' den.

"Yes, yes, my young brother, I see you cannot be parted from my presence for so long! I see my brilliant charisma has worked its' way into your heart, and you have finally come to submit to me! It's alright, my little brother, we will gather up our wonderful little brother Foxpaw and eat together at the table of righteousness and brotherhood!"

As they exited the warriors' den and Spiderleg called to Foxpaw, who was just slipping out of the warriors' den, Birchfall accidentally knocked into Hazelfur, who was just passing from the nursery where she has just delivered fresh-kill to the queens.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Birchfall," she quickly apologized, "I just saw Rainkit and Sootykit, your brother and sister are beautiful!"

"Hazelfur! Just the cat I wanted to see!" Spiderlegs' eyes brightened as he caught sight of the apprentice, and he quickly motioned for her to come near him, Foxpaw sat next to Spiderleg, a little unsure of what was happening, while Birchfall braced himself for the storm.

"Hazelfur, I seem to find myself in a predicament," Spiderleg gestured to his brothers, "You see, this morning I woke up with a dream in mind, a glorious dream that I wish to have fulfilled by the end of the day! And do you, young, pretty Hazelfur, know what my dream is?" Hazelfur glanced, unsure at Birchfall, and opened her mouth to answer when Spiderleg answered his own question.

"A breakfast, young Hazelfur!" declared Spiderleg, standing up again. Already his speech was attracting several souls, including Firestar and a few random other cats who just happened to be passing by, Hazelfur pulled back a little in shock as Spiderleg jumped up on a stage (which had popped out of the ground) and clicked his claws, signaling a spotlight on him.

"I woke, Hazelfur, with a breakfast in mind!" declared Spiderleg, sweeping his tail to Foxpaw and Birchfall, "I saw myself seated between the warriors' den and the nursery, sunlight flickering through the brambles that surround the edge of our camp, dappling the fur of me, the elegant Spiderleg, with fur as black as a moonless night and a belly the color of a muddy, newleaf stream in RiverClan! My eyes, which were the pale blue of a foggy winter sky, were glittering as I laughed alongside my handsome brothers and-"

"But Spiderleg," Foxpaw broke in. Spiderleg frowned, but pulled a smile and turned around to his little brother.

"Yes, my darling ginger-furred little brother who shares my genetic background?"

Foxpaw tilted his head to one side, "You don't have blue eyes."

Spiderleg froze. And didn't move. And didn't move. And STILL didn't move. Then he made some dramatic gestures and fell off the stage. Whitewing groaned and rolled her eyes, then stalked over and poked Spiderleg again.

"Spiderleg, hurry up, Brambleclaw wants us to go hunting." At this Spiderleg pricked up, waved goodbye to his brothers (giving Foxpaw a noogie) and hopped out of the camp with Whitewing. At this point Ferncloud walked out of the nursery, with Rainkit and Sootykit trailing behind her. Her eyes followed Spiderleg and she frowned.

"Hm, he seems a little depressed today."

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**Hm, well, what do you think? Should i continue or not? review and tell me!**


End file.
